Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Dare To Stop Living In The Past - Forgive Today!

Forgiveness: The process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

Forgiveness is a difficult topic for most people – mainly because the mere thought of it brings up feelings of resentment, anger, bitterness etc. The ability to forgive is not something that many people have mastered, yet it is crucial to one’s emotional wellbeing. Nothing is more liberating than letting go of that emotional and mental toxic energy! Some see forgiveness as a sign of weakness, while others aim to “punish” the person they are holding a grudge against. I’ve heard it said before that holding a grudge and refusing to forgive is like you drinking poison whilst hoping that the person you are angry with dies! Essentially you punish yourself. This is a harrowing thought considering that some people hold grudges for a lifetime!

Learning how to forgive is not only important for those who may wrong us but ourselves too. If you have difficulty forgiving those who wrong you, you will also find it difficult to forgive yourself if the need ever arises. We cannot control how others feel about us but we should at least be able to control how we feel about ourselves. When you forgive you are not condoning the actions of the one who wronged you but instead you choose to remember what they have done without letting it hurt you anymore. It’s a sign of you taking charge of your emotions and not letting someone else’s actions dictate how you feel.

It often amazes me how children (especially younger ones) almost have no ability to hold a grudge! Take for instance a scenario where your two or three year old does something that you don’t approve of. You may snap at them telling them to stop what they are doing and how they should know better etc. The child walks away with their tail between their legs and gets on with something else. You start to feel bad for having overreacted perhaps so you call the child back and apologise. Ever noticed how in most cases your child will respond with a simple “ok” and it’s a genuine “ok” at that! You wronged them, you apologised and it’s over. However as adults we seem to have a “does he/she think it’s going to be that easy to reconcile? Well they have another thing coming!” This may be because of pride or the complicated personas that we develop in adulthood. Either way I think that there is a lesson to be learned here. Dare to be like a child who has a free spirit and ultimately wants things to be “ok” all the time. Besides it will leave you feeling happier, guilt free and in a fantastic emotional space.

Remember: “Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves to get well and move on”

1 comment:

  1. I concur with this post Michelle. Forgivenes is one of the hardest things you can do, but quite important. We all need to remeber that somewhere down the line, we too have wronged someone! Once you forgive you experience a sense of peace, and your able to get on with life, otherwise if we dont...the bitterness becomes a hinderous in life and to our future relationships.

    Keep them coming. xxxx